Day 365!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So this is it.... Day 365!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I grace you with photos from the Duffy garden.

Oh what a year it has been. I got a job, got married, went on a honeymoon, got a new job, and am buying a house! Crazy!

A certain friend placed a request that I recap my blog in statistics, so here it goes:

Lu's Photos of Life Recap!

Total number of posts: 162

Total number of posts without photos: 18

Total number of posts with photos: 144

Total number of photos posted: 257*

Number of photos missing from a 365-day photo blog: 108

Average number of photos per post: 1.58

Total number of blog views: 2,844

Most visited post: Day 260 & 261 with 27 views

Peak viewing took place in October 2010

Countries my blog has been viewed in: USA (2,747), Canada (33), Japan (17), Germany (14), China (3), UK (3), United Arab Emirates (2), Denmark (2), France (2), Phillipines (2)

Total number of countries: 10

*any photo collages were counted as 1 photo

So there you have it! 365 days of my life summed up.

I'm not sure what will become of my blog after this, but I will not stop taking photos, so I will always have material. Hope you have enjoyed this little journey and whatever may come next!

Day 358

Shit. It's almost been a year, and I'm slacking tough. I need to pick it up to get in these last days or so.

Day 339-344

For the sake of this not becoming a biweekly blog (take that Ash) I will now post!

Today was a crazy day! We had Cadence's bday party and I gave her the guinea pigs. She LOOOOOVED them! I'm going to miss those little buggers. They were easy to get attached to with how affectionate they are.

Then we got a random phone call from Tommo. He wanted us to come crash a huge firework show. It wasn't too far away and the timing was right, so we did..... and it was soooo worth it, because he left out some vital details:

-It was a Spielbauer show.

-It was 45 minutes long.

-It was choreographed to music.

All in all it was the best show I've ever seen! Hopefully tomorrow I will feel that it was worth all of the mosquito bites I got.

Well, now to go chat with Maddie on fbook and listen to mopey music, cuz I'm lame like that.

Day 331-338

Happy 4th Everyone!!!

I'm super bummed that I had to spend my holiday in the hospital working. The view of the fireworks from the 7th floor was sub-par.

On a better note yesterday was grandma and grandpa's surprise 60th anniversary party. It was lots of fun with tons of family! Included are a few pics from the party.

I can't wait to have tomorrow off.... I need it, especially after the craziness of this last weekend!

I just want to veg out and do nothing.... and I just might! :)

Enjoy your week peeps!

Day 325-330

I apologize for not updating more frequently. There are major big changes going on in life right now which have distracted me. Not to mention I've been posting more on my other blog than here. I will work on getting some more awesome posts in the upcoming week. Especially with the 4th coming up! I love Independence Day!!!!

Day 323 and 324

So again with the guinnies! I love them! I just got up from downstairs with them. When I open the door to go downstairs, they climb on the bars and squeal with excitement. They love attention. So I sat down there with them for a while. I just sit and talk to them and pet them to get them used to the attention. Tonight, when I was done I shut the lights off and climbed the stairs, but the time I got to the top of the stairs they were squeaking for me to come back. They are just so darn cute!!!

Maybe some day years from now I will own guinnies of my own.

Other than that nothing too much going on. Pretty lame night tonight.

Day 318-322 :: The Guinnies!

I am the BEST godmother EVER! So I wanted to get Cadence something living for her birthday... and it is guinea pigs!!!! They are sooo cute!

They were abandoned at the pet store, so I got an awesome deal on them. Two guinnies, plus the cage, and accessories for $35! And they are the most social and adorable guinnies I've ever seen!

Josh highly discourages me getting one for myself, so I will enjoy taking care of these two little girls until I give them to Cadence on her birthday. So for two weeks, I will get to hang out with and love on Lucy and Ethel!

They were named Petals and Flowers,... but LAME! So I'm calling them Lucy (the hairy one) and Ethel (the smooth one). And for all I know Cadence will call them Snow White and Ariel, or Dora and Boots. Either way they are going to be so loved!

Day 314-317

So no photo today. I just need somewhere to write.

Josh brought home a box of piano music from my Grandpa's house. He forgot about it in his car for a couple days and just gave it to me the other day. I didn't have a chance to go through it until tonight. I was bored and thought some of his favorite songs might be in there for me to learn.

So I'm filing through the books and sheet music, and I found a loose sheet of typed paper. The paper is white so it isn't as old as the piano music, and there are old creases in it where it used to be folded. I'm not sure if it was typed or photocopied. It was a page long poem by "Author Unknown". I read it and cried and cried and cried. Here is what it said:

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say,

First of all to let you know that I arrived okay.

I am writing this from heaven where I dwell with God above

Where there's no more tears or sadness, there is just eternal love.

Please don't be unhappy just because I'm out of sight,

Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you , when my life on earth was through,

God picked me up and hugged me and He said "I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.

For your dearest family, they will be here later on.

I need you here so badly as part of my big plan.

There's so much that we have to do to help our mortal man."

Then God gave me a list of things he wished for me to do,

And most on that list of mine is to watch and care for you.

And I will be beside you every day and week and year,

And when you're sad, I am standing there to wipe away the tears.

And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight,

God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night.

When I think of my life on earth and all those loving years,

Because you're only human, they are bound to bring you some tears.

Please don't be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain,

Remember there would be no flowers unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you of all that God has planned

But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand,

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over,

I am closer to you than I ever was before.

And to my very many friends, trust God knows what's best,

I'm still not far away from you, I'm just beyond the crest.

There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb,

But together we can do it taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too,

That as you give unto the world, so the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow or in pain,

Then you can say to God at night, "My day was not in vain.

And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile,

Knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile."

So if you meet somebody who is down and feeling low,

Just lend a hand to pick him up as on your way you go.

When you are walking down the street and you've got me on your mind,

I am walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when you feel that gentle breeze or the wind upon your face,

That's me giving you a great big hug or just a soft embrace.

And when it's time for you to go from that body to be free,

Remember you are not going, you are coming here to me.

And I will always love you from that land up above.

We'll be in touch again soon, P.S. God sends his love.

I miss him so much....

Day 309-313

So the daily photo seems to have turned into the weekly photo. My bad!

I just got off a six day stretch of work, and somehow I survived!

I have been the busiest ever lately! Between work and projects: I ordered two scrapbooks in the last week and one of them I made within 24 hours. Talk about busting my butt! I have one more that I'm still finishing up.

Tonight was a busy day of house things and dog things. I needed to get the paper work to fill out for placing an offer. (This photo is from my FAVORITE alley that I walked in to go get the papers!) It was also doggy grooming day! They got their nails trimmed, coats brushed and bathed!!! They were less than thrilled. But now they are all clean!

This week I pulled all the stops to have them shed less. I started them on fish oil, got de-shed shampoo, and brushed them a ton. By golly, my house better have less hair in by next week!

Tomorrow is my work day... as in working on my last scrapbook. We are also meeting with a family friend to compose a house offer. And then tomorrow night is the Kenny Chesney concert! It will be ridiculously amazing! Since I live so close I will be able to hear the entire thing! Super super super pumped! (Ironically he is playing on my Pandora station right now, hehe!)

That is all for now! More exciting updates to come! Peace out Holmes!

Day 303-308

Oh what a busy week it has been. It's been crazy hectic with work, and planning an anniversary party, and house stuff, and rummage sale stuff, and doula stuff.

I don't even know where to begin, but all I will say is there may be BIG changes coming soon!

Enjoy this picture of Cam planting his first garden! :)

Day 299-302: Memorial Weekend

We are in the three hundreds!

This weekend was a nice long Memorial weekend. I went up north Saturday and Sunday. There was a lot of family up north and it was really good to hang out with them. We chopped some trees, drank some booze, picked some ticks, and learned waaaay too much about each other! Which always makes for a fun weekend.

I'm trying to plan a trip up there for a couple days this summer. When I can just take off with my puppy and hang out with her: walk through the woods, swim in the lake, take the boat out. I like me time.

We are 2 steps closer to a house. By the end of this week we will hopefully be working on an official offer. I had the chance to run through the house this morning and am super pumped about it. Finally some good news in life.

Hope everyone has a productive work week!

Day 297 and 298

This is my lap.... well not anymore, cuz now the laptop is there. But this is my favorite view of my lap! My cuddly girls make my day!

We are baby steps closer to a house today! :)

Also I work tomorrow and then I am headed up north for the holiday weekend! I'm super pumped!

And in conclusion to this short post: I love my husband! :D

Peace out!

Day 289-296

Welcome back me!

This last week has been beyond a rollercoaster of stress and self-esteem issues. Not to mention I just got of the WORST 4 day stretch of work ever. It was rough. We lost 5 patients in 12 hours. Some expected, some not.

But after a great mental health day today, I think I'm back in the game. So let's forget the rest of the garbage and talk about today.

I woke up super early to get ready to take the dogs to the vet. While I was in the shower Nova was so excited that I was up early that she jumped in the shower with me! Silly puppy... silly, wet puppy!

Then I was off to the vet with both dogs, which is always an ordeal. But they did amazing. They were both well behaved. The pocket book took quite the hit though.

After the vet I snagged some yummy lunch. Then I spent the afternoon at home... not cleaning, not stressing, not anything. I watched a little TV and then went outside with my girls. I played fetch a bit and then read a book for an hour. I got a bit of a sun burn. Guess that is what happens when you are pasty!

When Josh got home we went to Cora's first soccer game. Unfortunately I don't have any particular soccer action shots, but Kalena was being a ham! So you get pics of her. Then we went and looked at my great uncle's house. This time we went in with buyer's eyes.

And I don't want to jinx things but I think this is it! Meeting to discuss more on Thursday morning. :)

And then came home happy and giddy and relaxed a bit with all of the awesome finales on TV. Tomorrow it is back to work, but only one day at a time for the rest of the week. I can't wait to go up north this weekend! It is bound to be amazing! :)

Day 286-288

I'm taking some "me" time. So I apologize in advance for the emptiness of my blog this week. I hope to have many awesome pictures upon my return!

Day 286

So today was Cam's birthday! It was a nice small party with a really big cake! No joke the cake was like 10lbs! It was nice seeing family again and getting the chance to hang out. He loved all the attention! And he wasn't one of the typical babies who dives into his cake... he was actually pretty clean and reserved. If it weren't for certain people *cough* putting his fingers in his hair and mashing up his cake, he would've never needed a bath!

After the party I took a much needed nap. I was wiped. (Maybe from playing giant Jenga at the bar after work last night! Soooo fun!)

Then tonight was Gamblers playoff hockey- game 2 of the final series. They won last night 3-0. Tonight they weren't quite so lucky and lost 2-1. But it is only game 2 and I know that they are on their way to another Clark Cup championship!

Tomorrow is a day of relaxing. Maybe some house hunting, maybe some grocery shopping. Either way it will be too cold and rainy to do anything fun outside. Hope everyone has a great rest of the weekend!

Day 283-285

Wednesday was Cadence's preschool graduation. They did a little skit and sang some songs and then had ice cream. It was super cute. Then Wednesday night we went and looked at another house... it wasn't that great, and was very over priced for the condition it was in. But our realtor was super awesome and hooked us up with some good tools for house hunting.

Yesterday I had nurse residency.... long day of sitting and listening to lecturers. One good thing that came out of it (besides $$) was finding a resource for Josh to get help with his breathing. Then last night we went and looked at a house we liked over the weekend, but this time we took my parents with us. The only major problem with the house is still its location! The house itself is still awesome but the darn location will move it to the bottom of the list.

We plan on going to look at a few houses this weekend and then we are going to see 8 houses on Thursday! :) Super exciting. We should get some good perspective on what exactly we want.

Today is Friday the 13th... and I work. Normally I'm not too superstitious, but I just hope it is a good night at work. Because after tonight I have a three day weekend! And it's going to be a relaxing and fun filled weekend. Unfortunately.... much like this picture, it is going to be a stormy weekend. This is a picture from the storm rolling in last night. It's going to be a wet, wet weekend.

I hope everyone stays dry and has a good weekend!

Days 274-282

It wouldn't be right to talk about Stitch without our mascot representing: so I present Teaka! She is so freaking cute when she carries things around in her mouth! She even dragged in Anna's gift, but I couldn't get a good picture.

This past week has been a whirlwind! We saw two houses over the weekend... one which we loved! We are going back to see it on Thursday. Then I messaged our realtor about things we want and he sent us a list of properties today. And WHAM! BAM! we are going to see two of them tomorrow! EEK! It's happening so quick! I'm pumped but anxious all at the same time.

Yesterday was Anna's last Stitch. She leaves next Friday to go back to Moldova. So we had cake and gifts. She was really a great addition to the group and something will be missing when she is not there. I hope she comes back to visit soon!

I don't have much time to discuss... I have been working like crazy. And between work and house hunting and trying to hang out with people... SO much craziness!

Upcoming week events:

Wed: Cadence's preschool graduation, 2 houses

Thurs: Nurse Residency and 1 house

Fri: work

Sat: Cam's bday party and Gambler PLAYOFF hockey!!!!!

More to come! Enjoy this gorgeous picture of the gorgeous ladies of Stitch and Bitch:

Day 273

Today my family took Anna to the DeYoung Family Zoo! We have been planning this day for so long, and since Anna is leaving soon we had to get up there!

We were the first to arrive at the zoo about 30 minutes after they opened. As we began our trek around the zoo it was nice and sunny, but a couple hours in it was windy and cloudy. It was sooooo cold! We were all numb by the time we left at 2pm.

Buddy found us back by the hippo house, and since we were the only guests he took us into the hippo house. Wallace the hippo came out of his pond and up to the gate. I told Buddy that Anna was from Moldova and he was fascinated! He was asking her all sorts of questions about culture differences, wildlife in Moldova, etc. Then he handed her a carrot. Wallace has a command to open his mouth and you toss the carrot in. We all had a chance to feed him. And when I asked if he was slimy Buddy told me I could pet him and find out! I will probably never get to pet a hippo again, it was so cool!

Then Buddy told us that he was going to feed the bears. Translation: Anna is going to feed the bears. Since Moldova is by Russia, he thought it would be appropriate for Anna to feed the Russian brown bears! In all the times I have been there, I have NEVER, NEVER EVER seen him bring a guest inside the first gate. He had Anna come inside the gate and feed licorice to the bears. She is so lucky. Then he had her unload celery and melons and toss them over the gate to the bears. At one point he had both gates wide open so we could stand in the doorway and take pictures of the bears without bars in the way. (There was an electric wire between us and the bears, so we had some sort of protection. And they were distracted by food.)

Then it was tiger time... as in baby tiger time. :) They had 3 cubs born on March 21st during the big snow storm. One cub went to another zoo, and then they kept a male and female. They are hand-raising the cubs because they started to lose weight with the horrible shifts in the weather. Carrie brought out the little 6 week old male cub named Khan. He was adorable! And he was very adventurous and enjoyed climbing on everyone. It was far too cold out to bring out any primates or other animals.

Carrie told us that they had 2 wolf pups and 1 fox kit. She said the wolves rarely come out of their den with the weather being so nasty. But she said the little fox was flashing his new teeth over his food this morning and he was acting tough. We went to go find the foxes. We saw three adult foxes and were looking for the little 7 week old one. And then we saw him. He was laying upside-down by the fence, he was dirty and not breathing. :( My mom ran and told Carrie who grabbed keys and came running out. She went right in with the foxes and picked him up. He was dead. She looked him over and searched in the enclosure, but couldn't find out why he had died. She carried him out in her jacket right as a family with small kids came by. I'm glad we found him before the little kids did. Carrie was tearing up. My mom was crying. In general it was just a super sad moment.

Then came time to feed the big cats. We got lots of neat pictures, also in thanks to some of the workers there. The workers will take your cameras and take pictures for you on the inside of the gates so you don't have the bars in your pictures. They are pros! After the cats were done eating, it was time for us to warm up and eat! We said goodbye to Buddy and he told Anna that if she is ever back in the States she should come back and visit.

Now Anna can say she pet a hippo, fed bears, and held a baby tiger! Those will be great memories and pictures she can bring back to Moldova with her. Definitely one of my favorite trips to the zoo! We didn't get to hold as many animals, but it was a very nice and intimate visit to the zoo.

Day 272

No picture today, but a little update on my domestic-ness!

Woke up early. Went to Jess & Rob's to pick up a CD. Went to Nikki's to drop off the CD. Went to Grandma's to work on a project. Mom shows up. Jess and Cam show up. Mom and I leave and go to Festival Foods. We grab lunch at Fazoli's. Off to JoAnn's. At JoAnn's I bought a cute little 'welcome' statue for in front of the house. Then back to the house where mom helps me haul the birdbath from the backyard to the frontyard. Mom leaves.

Josh and I run to Fleet Farm to buy fencing and bird food. Then back to JoAnn's because Fleet Farm didn't have the shepherd's hook I wanted. Get home. Put in the fencing to control the dogs. Fill the bird feeder. Hang the bird feeder. Now: wait for birds. :)

We have a lot of yard work left to do, but it will have to wait for a different day!

Yay! My house is becoming a home! :)

Day 269-271

Sometimes I wonder how I'm a functioning member of society...

I have such impaired coping mechanisms. Like I never get over some things. And they hurt just as bad as the day they happened.

Aunt Pat is that way... it's been 13 years. And I know it is too soon, and that it is still fresh, but I have a feeling that Grandpa will be that way too.

I should make it a rule to never stay up past 2am. Josh goes to bed and I end up awake and alone with my thoughts. And once the flood gates open they don't close, which is how 5am and I became friends last night.

It all started a week ago. I was watching Dancing With the Stars and it was patriotic week. Kendra and Louis did a dance to "Yankee Doodle Dandy". Hearing the song flashed me back to Grandpa playing and singing it on the piano. I started bawling hysterically. I instantly started rummaging through Grandpa's old piano music (he had tons even though he played by ear) and found "Yankee Doodle Dandy". I've been working on it everyday.

Well last night I was struck by unbelievable sadness. I still can't believe he is gone. It is the worse feeling ever. My coping last night was to play "Yankee Doodle Dandy" over and over and over again until I was a tearing, snotty, convulsing mess on the piano bench. The night winded down with watching 1940's musicals on Netflix. The musicals featuring Grandpa's favorite songs. (I was so born in the wrong era. I would much rather watch those musicals than the trash produced today.)

Each passing day doesn't get easier. Instead things keep piling up. Today I found out Duke is stopping all his cancer treatments. It makes these cloudless sunny days so much darker. Now I understand why people get swept up in the royal wedding of William and Kate- any little glimmer of sunshine to help perk up the miseries of the world. Unfortunately the royal wedding doesn't cut it for me. I'm just looking for my little ray of sun. Maybe I'll get some this weekend at the zoo, or working on my project with Grandma. Or maybe I just need to re-focus on my prayers again. That has gotten me through a lot before.

‎"Sometimes I have to stand on my head to see things as they are, when the world seems so upside-down that this is the only position in which anything makes sense." ~Unknown

Day 268

Welcome to my flooded backyard....

And it is supposed to rain all week. Oh joy. How am I ever going to patch up my yard and get the grass growing with all of this rain?

I just need to get this off my chest...

I see all of those news stories about kids bullying other kids. Normally I just frown about them and then forget about it. But I didn't expect it to happen within my own family. My little cousin is being bullied by a kid 5 years older than him on the bus. They punch him in the ribs, scream in his face, grab his hair and drag him into the aisle.... and then when he cries they whip out their phone and take pictures. My aunt has been in to speak with the principal and has called the bus company. I hope and pray something changes soon. It absolutely breaks my heart. I wonder what goes through the minds of those kids and how they get to be so mean...

Day 265-267

Today was a productive day off! I went out to lunch with a potential mommy for me to doula! :) It was an hour and a half and we got to do lots of catching up! Then I swung by my mom at the bank and found another potential mommy to doula for. :) I think 2 or 3 this year will be a good start!

Then I went to Keri's to give Kiersten her b-day presents. She loved the notebook and pens and started writing a bunch of cute little poems. She also read the book I gave her. I snagged the perfect book. The reading level is just a tad higher than she currently reads at so it will be a good book for her to learn from.

Then was stitch and bitch. We had a decent turnout tonight. There was definitely more bitching than stitching, which is good from time to time. I currently don't have a lot to bitch about, but I learn a lot from listen to what the older generations have to say. I kept joking around with Grandma about getting a three generation tattoo so we can take a pic and send it in to the paper. Bahaha, she is adamantly opposed! Here is our S&B mascot, Miss Teaka:

Now back to work for the rest of the week..... bah. The four day stretches really drain me.

Day 264

Well today was a very productive day off! I woke up, got to visit with the in-laws, and then it was off to lunch with my madre. Afterwards, I swung by Melissa's house and we researched for ever trying to find out what kind of bug was in my house. Then it was back home for a quick shower before heading out shopping. I managed to get Kiersten's birthday presents and a new book for me! :) Next I swung by to get kisses from my favorite little baby, Cameron!

After a crazy day of chasing, it was time for the Gambler game. Adam has been running around calling us all heathens for not going to church on Good Friday... my response: I would rather be at the Gambler game and be a heathen - than be at church and miss the playoffs! Jesus will forgive my sins!

I work this weekend, so it will be a less than awesome Easter. (The year there was no Easter.) *fingers crossed that census drops and I get called off!*

PS- Gamblers won game 2 vs the Ice. Score: 3-1

Day 262 and 263

So I did not take this picture but it sums up what is going on....

This is my little cousin Gunner and his snow bunny..... What the heck WI? Snow for Easter?

Today is 4 of 4 at work and I hit my peak yesterday and now I'm just feeling burned out. I enjoy having my days off.... and it is coming... just not until May. Just one more week to burn through!

Lately my life has been feeling scattered and dragging. So many bad things keep piling up on top of each other. After going to the doula training I have a new focus. I constantly need something to work on. It gives me ground. So far I have made my business cards, my brochure, my eval form, and I'm currently working on my contract and my binders. Things are all coming together and it gives me so much confidence! I needed this!

Days 260 & 261

I got it!

This is the picture I wanted so much. It was hanging at my grandparents' house in their living room. It was one of my grandpa's favorite paintings, and I also was reading the book about the painting to my grandma before she passed. It holds a lot of sentimental value to me. And I'm so glad my parents were able to get this for me yesterday.

I also made a checklist of the things I need to organize/get done to become a practicing doula:

• business cards (have a draft done)
• brochure
• contract
• interview packet
• prenatal packet(s)
• doula bag and supplies
• read over and choose the best articles
• evaluation form
• birth binder

Now to start checking things off the list! I only work a half shift tonight and will have time when I get home to get started on some of the more pressing things on the list! Super pumped!

Less pumped about the 6-10" of snow we are supposed to be getting. It is almost May, what gives Mr. Weather Man!?

Day 257-259:: Doula Days

Where do I even begin? This weekend was such an amazing and empowering experience. I could go into every minute detail, but I will save that for those who really want to know. Instead I will touch on the highlights that made my doula training so great!

Thursday: We headed out of town around 3:30pm. We hit Milwaukee (more importantly, Kurt and Ashley's house) around 6pm. We got the grand tour of their new house. The layout is really different and unique. They have a lot of great space to fill and I couldn't help but to pick out paint and landscaping and furniture in my mind. Then we all went out to dinner, and of course, we can never have "normal" conversations at dinner. We talked about babies (of course), colostomies, catheters, hermaphrodites, etc. Then it was off to Chicago! We pulled into our hotel about 11pm. Thank goodness for the valet parking! Chicago is so packed and busy and it was nice not having to worry about our car.

Friday: We slept in until lunch time. We decided to explore what foods were nearby. Low and behold a Potbelly's was only a block away. Yum! Then it was off to doula training day #1. We were a group of 17 (give or take some add-ins). And we came from all walks of life: a couple nurses, nursing students, lactation consultants, post-partum doulas, doulas re-certifying, nannies, social workers, massage therapists, or those with no experience. The training took place at a studio where prenatal yoga and classes are taught. We did the typical introductions. We watched a birthing video, which is how we started most days. Next we went over the scope of practice of what doulas do or don't do, and how they go about doing it. Then we had a dinner break where we broke into groups and walked to the restaurant of our choice. My group basically took over this little corner-shop gyro restaurant. After dinner we talked about the gate control theory of pain management. It was such an amazing technique, yet it should be a no-brainer all at the same time. Friday's training was 12:45pm-9:30pm. When I got home I was tired!

Saturday: We started the day off with a few videos of different births and had discussions critiquing them. Next came what I thought was the most informative portion of the training: Tubes 'R' Us, where we learned about all of the different interventions that occur in the hospital and the pros and cons. We learned about when they are medically necessary and how to avoid them when they aren't. After lunch, the pregnant ladies came in! We learned how to palpate to find the position of the baby and then listened to fetal heart tones. The MOST amazing/empowering/rewarding part of the training was when I found the baby's heart beat, and then was able to let the mother listen using the fetoscope. She said it was the first time she has ever heard the heart beat using a fetoscope and she was so happy. :) Made my day! Then we moved onto talking about waterbirths. Afterwards we worked on breathing techniques, birthing positions, and relaxation techniques. It was nice to be able to move into all of the positions to see how they felt and how they might be effective. Saturday's workshop lasted from 9am-7pm.

Sunday: Again we started with a movie and discussion. Today's topic was VBACs. The video was absolutely amazing, not only because it was a VBAC, but also because it was a breech birth. You don't get to see breech births nowadays because usually they go straight to c-section. Then we learned about anatomy and exams and how to tell the progress of a labor... so many women just think it is about dilation... they are so wrong! After lunch we finished discussing Tubes 'R' Us interventions. One nice thing was the instructor had a lot of the intervention items with her so we could see them and hold them. Then we talked about ethics. After that we talked about certification and how to get started in our business. This part was super helpful and very empowering. I like that they don't just teach you and say you are on your own, they guide you how to get started and a model of how to provide the best possible doula care. And then we did a group picture and that was it. It was another 9am-7pm day and we packed in a lot!

It was also so great having two babies and one pregnant mom in the class. It really re-affirmed why we do what we do and why we are so passionate about it.

The further I drove away from Chicago, the more the training settled in, and the more pumped up and excited I got to begin my doula work. I can't wait to read all the articles provided to us and to start educating women around me! So by all means, if you are reading this and have ANY questions at all don't hesitate to ask! I love spreading the knowledge on a topic I'm so passionate about.

Day 256

I miss the Union. :(

Well we made it to Chicago!

Today was a busy day, lots of cleaning and packing. We left mid-afternoon and headed to Milwaukee. We got to see Kurt and Ashley's new house! It is a crazy different layout, but nice and big. And they have a decent sized yard too. We all went out to eat at Chili's. Then it was off to Chicago! Only two tolls on the way here. Our hotel is on the north side of downtown. Best part of it all.... There is a Jamba Juice below our hotel!!!! I haven't had Jamba in so long! And just down the road... Potbelly's. And it's across the street from Urban Outfitters. I'm in heaven. :)

We get to sleep in a bit tomorrow and then it is off to doula class. Tomorrow's class is from 12-9:30pm. It is going to be a long day but I'm going to learn a lot!

Time for bed! 'Night Chicago and blogland!

Skipping ahead to Day 255

So I was sick Thurs-Mon, so hence no posts. Also no work, no eating, no breathing, no sleeping. Not cool.

But I'm alive and kicking now! I work today and then off to Chicago tomorrow! When I get back from Chicago I'm sure I will have lots of fun pictures (not the tourist-y type, but some good ones I'm sure!)

This is little Maki, Robbie's new puppy! She is a mini-wiener and super cute.

Hope everyone has a happy hump day!

Chicago here I come!

Day 244-247

Does it count that last night I had a dream that a herd of sheep were grazing in a field across from my house and I was trying to sneak through the brush to get a neat picture of them????

I honestly have no motivation to go out and take a picture. I want to, but I don't. So instead I will babble about what has been going on in life.

This weekend was a pretty lazy weekend. Saw Nikki a few times, slept in both days, rode the bike a bit, went to Oconto. On Saturday night we listened to the tape my Grandpa made about his experiences in WWII. I cried at first, but it is so good to hear his voice. The one thing I miss most about people when they are gone is the sound of their voice. And in my head I think I can remember it, but most likely time has distorted it. With my grandpa's tape I can always hear him whenever I want, not to mention that it is him telling a great story about his time in the war. I miss him so so so much.

Angie's grandpa passed away this weekend. It is just a rough time for all of us. We really need the happy to start out-weighing the sad soon. Along with that sad line of thought, my dad is doing pretty bad lately. He has a doctor appointment today and may go on disability soon. Not cool.

I wish I had something exciting or up-lifting that I could share, but today just isn't the day for that. If you are still reading my blog despite my days of no posts and no pictures, you are a very loyal reader and I promise I will have more pictures up soon. I just need to get out of this rut.

And if you read this you should leave a comment about something happy going on in the world or your life. We need more rays of sunshine!

Day 240-243

Life is a beautiful thing.

It is so amazing how much has changed in a year. And also what hasn't changed.

A year ago today I was in worst-case-scenario mode. I was probably up all night trying to google what I was afraid the doctors would tell me. April 2nd of last year was the day of my first MRI. The MRI that found unusual spots on my spine, which was diagnosed at syringomyelia. The word that halted life as I knew it.

For those who didn't follow my old blog you can find it here: http://lifewithsyringomyelia.blogspot.com/ or if you don't feel like reading it I can tell you that syringomyelia is a crippling spinal cord disease in which pockets of fluid in your spine expand and destroy your spinal cord.

For months I researched. I found support groups. I painted. I lived in fear. I was paralyzed by the fear of everything: lifting, running, bending, biking, massages, sneezing, the realization of never being able to be a nurse, the prospect of never having a family, a wheelchair-bound future.

Oh how much a year has made a difference. I'm so, so, so grateful that I'm not an idle patient. My neurologist didn't recommend seeing a neurosurgeon until I wanted to have kids. Thank God I didn't listen. Instead I found the best damn neurosurgeon for syringomyelia in the country. And by some miraculous feat he had an opening in July, instead of my initial October scheduling. Finding him prevented me from years of worry. Instead I was prisoner to the diagnosis for only 3 months.... thank goodness I'm free now. Dr. Iskandar saved my life and my future.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. My symptoms are still there. Just tonight both my arms went numb and tingly for an hour and a half. But at least now I know what it is. And more importantly I know that I can just go on living my life. And for the last nine months I have done just that: got married, got a job, enjoying life.

I'm not a fan of the saying "everything happens for a reason", but I am a fan using experiences to make you a better person. And I try to do that everyday.

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. ~Confucius

Day 235-239

So I've been on hiatus a bit. Last week was rough. I wasn't really sleeping the first half of the week, so Friday and Saturday I pretty much hibernated. I managed to survive going back to work, and it has actually been helpful to relate to some of my coworkers.

I also have started focusing on my doula readings. I figure the faster I get through the books the faster I get certified! :) Not to mention that everyone is getting pregnant lately so I will have plenty of babies to practice on for my certification!

(This is a picture of one of the flowers from the arrangement we had at Grandpa's funeral.)

Angie and I joined heads today to commit to losing a few pounds before Easter. I did a good job buying healthful foods today when we went grocery shopping. I am also kicking my butt today working out. I biked a bit already and lifted weights. I also found my latest addiction: the punching bag. It started off awkward and not sure what I'm doing. And before you know it, I'm wailing on it and kicking it. Feels pretty good and works up a sweat fast. It is good to punch out my frustrations about things going on in life. And in a bit I'll be jumping on the bike again.

Today has been a massively successful day of self-improvement. Lots of working out. Lots of cleaning. Lots of attitude shifting. Lots of books purchased on Amazon that will make life better!

I can only hope tomorrow will be just as good.

Peace out.

Day 234

So technically it is 3/23, but I don't know how to change the time on my post so it will still seem like 3/22.... but whatev.

Confessions (because Maggie says it's good to vent):

1) I hit my lowest of lows when Taps played at the funeral. I've never felt more helpless and heartbroken in my entire life. I felt like collapsing to the ground and crying till I passed out. Somehow between watching the flag get folded and Josh holding me up, I stayed standing. I don't know how long this low will last, it feels like eternity.

2) I can't sleep. I lay in my bed, sometimes in silence, sometimes with the sound machine, and I don't sleep. When I can't sleep I lay on the couch from Grandpa's den and fall asleep. And when I really can't sleep I put on his sweatshirt and lay on the couch, and that usually does the trick.

3) I look for little signs all the time. And a lot of the time I get them.

Day 230-233

I don't even know where to start. Where can you start when there is no good place?

On Tuesday, March 15th, I went to visit my Grandpa at the nursing home. They had just made the decision to put him on hospice care. I knew he wasn't really eating or drinking so it wouldn't be long. I stayed with him for 3.5 hours. He was miserable. He tried sleeping but every few minutes he would holler out. He was having nightmares about being in WWII. He was shouting about being shot at and trying to get help after he was shot. War is a horrible, horrible thing for someone to go through. And to have to keep reliving it... I can't even imagine. While I was there I did have the chance to tell him something I've never told him before: He is my hero. He is the greatest man I ever knew. In all the years I've wanted to tell him that I never did. I'm glad I was able to tell him now before it was too late.

I worked Wednesday and Thursday, but knew I needed to spend more time with him. I asked everyone at work if they could pick up hours for me on Friday, but no one could. I remember at nursing graduation, Dean May told us we need to take care of our "big stones" in life, so I called in sick on Friday.

Friday morning, March 18th, when I woke up I found out that Andrew had been in a car accident, so I instantly called him to see if he was okay. He told me that I better go see Grandpa today. He didn't need to say anything else. I was planning on taking my time during the day, but instead jumped in the shower and went to the nursing home. Every morning I have a battle with finding socks since I don't dare match them before I put them away. And this morning the easiest pair to find were Grandma's socks, that I had taken from her drawer when I was helping to take care of her back in June.

I got there at 1100. Grandpa was resting much more comfortably. We pulled in chairs from the dining room to accommodate everyone. The priest was coming in at noon to read Grandpa his last rites, we were just hoping he held on that long. Throughout the morning his breathing was constantly changing. Sometimes labored, other times shallow and rapid. Noon came and went and the priest was running late. Everyone was waiting for him: me, Jim, Dan, Duke, Mimi. My dad was working in Door County and was going to be coming by later.

Finally at 1220 the priest arrived. We gathered around while Grandpa received his last rites. The priest left about 1240, which is when my dad showed up. Grandpa had his kids all there, and just 15 minutes later, he passed.

I was going to meet my mom for lunch and break the news to her. I went to pick up drive-thru and the girl in the window told me to "Have a nice day." I wanted to snap at her and tell her that my grandpa just died and it was anything but a 'nice day'. That is when I realized that even though my world was crumbing, the rest of the world was still moving on.

When I got home that night I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. Back in April I was visit my Grandma and Grandpa and I loved looking at Grandma's African violets. One of them stood out among the rest. It's blossoms weren't the typical bright purple, but rather purple and white. I knew Grandma was getting sick and I wanted this violet to remember her by, so she gave it to me. After I brought it home, my lack of a green thumb killed all the blossoms. For 11 months I stared at nothing but leaves in dirt. Grandma died in June and I just wish I could ask her how she kept her violets blossoming year round. I had to be doing something wrong.... In the week before Grandpa died, I noticed some buds popping up on my plant. And then on March 18th one bloomed into the most gorgeous flower. If that wasn't Grandma's way of showing how happy she was to have Grandpa back with her, then I don't know what else it could've been short of a miracle. For months I have researched and questioned how to make my flowers bloom, and all they needed was Grandma's happiness. And today, March 22nd, we laid Grandpa to rest besides Grandma, while the heaviest most gorgeous snow falls, and a second blossom is opening.

The last time I woke up I had two grandpas.

I don't want to go to sleep because I will have to wake up in a world with one less grandpa.

:(

Day 227-229

~*Losing them wouldn't be so hard to take, if Heaven wasn't so far away.*~

Day 226

I hate where quality nursing care doesn't exist. hate. hate. hate.

I'm so pissed right now, I'm not sure what to do except to watch mindless TV shows to distract myself.

hate.

grr.

Day 224 and 225

My brown eyed girl....

Love this puppy.

Love her eyes.

While Friday was awesome, this weekend pretty much sucked.

Tonight was an impromptu date night and we went to see "The Adjustment Bureau". It was a good movie, but I like movies that have more resolution.... It had resolution, but I wanted to know what happens next.

I also biked 27.5 miles tonight. It was good to work off some frustrations.

Tomorrow is my spirituality retreat to the nunnery. Should be an interesting use of an entire day, but at least I get paid to go. Normally I wouldn't mind such an excursion, but given recent events I have a feeling it will just piss me off going there tomorrow when I could be doing more important things instead.

So even though it is only 10:45, I should probably go to bed so I can get up early. Lord knows how difficult it will be for me to fall asleep.

Day 223

Happy 10th Birthday Penelope!

That's about the only good thing I have to say about today...

Day 221 and 222

Today was the BEST. DAY. EVER.

Allow me to explain why:

- Woke up and it was 3/11/11, aka our anniversary of being married for 3 months.

- The first thing I found out when I woke up was that my cousin Lexi is safe. She is in Japan on a military base.... and after the horrific earthquake and tsunami, I'm soooo glad she is okay. Thank God.

- It was an absolutely gorgeous day out today. I got to drive around with the windows rolled down and no coat on.

- I got to babysit the world's cutest baby today. For two hours Cameron and I got to hang out, read books, and get excited over poopy diapers.

- After babysitting, I went to see my mom at work. She had all the goodies I ordered from Pampered Chef! They came in so quickly!

- Next I went to donate clothes. Yay for a feel good moment.

- Then it was lunch time. I ended up going to Fazoli's. The gentlemen in the window decided that I needed 6 breadsticks, instead of the normal 2. JACKPOT and oh so filling!

- As I pull in the driveway, I notice a very happy Amazon order sitting on my porch! Some of Josh's tea was delivered, along with 2 of my doula books!

- My mom called me after work and we went to JoAnn's and also to IHOP. Again another yummy meal! (I got the low cal meal knowing that I would have to bike it off later!)

- And biking! I biked 25.1 miles today! This brings my yearly total to over 600 miles! :) I can't wait to put on more miles tomorrow.

The only thing that could make my day better would be if I could spend it with my husby. We will see what tomorrow's day off brings. In the meantime, I'm going to spend this wonderful evening with my puppies and one of my new books! :)

Goodnight blogland!

Day 220 - Ash Wednesday

Happy Ash Wednesday everyone!

So this being a photo blog, why not explain my Lent goals through photos? Duh!

This year I'm giving up 2 things but also doing 2 things for the betterment of me. And conveniently they can spell "LENT". (I was so proud of myself when I thought this one up!)

#1 Gain:

L is for Limiting my caloric intake. I'm on a fitness website and everyday you are either under the calorie goal or you are not. Well I've been far too lax with this, so for Lent I will be under or at my calorie goal every day!

#1 Give:

E is for Eliminating ETOH (aka alcohol). This is my last glass of wine that I had last night. And the sad part was when midnight hit and I had to hand over the rest of the glass to Josh. Not that I'm an alcoholic by any means, but I sure love my wine. And this will also help me meet my "L" goal!

#2 Give:

N is for Not Nagging Josh to do things that in all honesty, I could just as easily do. This is last night's example.... the dogs' water needed to be refilled. (Cassi drags the empty dish too you.... ) Normally I would just ask Josh to do it because I'm lazy but not so this time, I got my ass off the couch and did it myself! This will also go for taking out the garbage, hanging me things, getting me things, etc.

#2 Gain:

T is for Taking a Daily Vitamin. My genetics make me rather Vitamin D deficient.... even with all my summer sun bathing. (My dad takes prescription Vitamin D with an insanely high dosage!) So I will take a daily multivitamin instead of my current regiment of take it when I feel like it. Vitamins tend to be expensive, which is lame, since I will definitely run out and need to by more before Lent is over.

Well folks, that is that. What are you giving up this year?

Day 218 and 219

Lemon Juice..... really?

So this is kinda a lame picture, but it the closest thing I could find to represent size.

So the NICU temporarily moved to our floor while they get remodeled. :) Yesterday we had some medications come up for them. So we all fought over who gets to bring the meds to the NICU. I won.

The nurses there were so nice. They told me to walk around and meet the babies. One of the nurses called me over. She wanted to show me something that you don't get to see every day.

A tiny baby girl who was born yesterday at only 24 weeks. She was 1 pound 1 ounce and maybe as long as this lemon juice bottle.... maybe. Looking at the picture she may have even been a bit smaller. She was so precious.

I love the NICU. They even had a little girl there similar to Conner (who has been home now for five days after spending 229 days in the NICU! yay!), who has just a nasty hodge podge of digestive issues and surgeries.

My heart and prayers go out to all of the babies in the NICU and their families. They are all such little miracles.

Happy Fat Tuesday everyone. I wish I was in high school French class so I could be stuffing my face on all sorts of yummy treats. But instead I'm stuck at home with a lunch I'm so not looking forward to. Stay tuned for tomorrow's reveal of my goals for Lent! :)

Day 217

Black and white is my new favorite. I love playing with it!

Today was a day of relaxation. Josh and I watched a few documentaries this morning. We also spent a bit of time watching the CP telethon. We made our donation!

Then it was onto the bike. My team is in third place... aka last place. But today I put on 31.2 miles which put us in second place by 5 miles! So exciting. While biking I watched Julie & Julia. It was a good movie, and I had been meaning to watch it for some time now. Mission accomplished!

After today it is back to work. Work work work. The story of my life. Hopefully these next few days fly by and will all be good days at work. I like when things are enjoyable and fun. :)

Life is good. Time to go spend the rest of this wonderful day with my husby!