Day 234

So technically it is 3/23, but I don't know how to change the time on my post so it will still seem like 3/22.... but whatev.

Confessions (because Maggie says it's good to vent):

1) I hit my lowest of lows when Taps played at the funeral. I've never felt more helpless and heartbroken in my entire life. I felt like collapsing to the ground and crying till I passed out. Somehow between watching the flag get folded and Josh holding me up, I stayed standing. I don't know how long this low will last, it feels like eternity.

2) I can't sleep. I lay in my bed, sometimes in silence, sometimes with the sound machine, and I don't sleep. When I can't sleep I lay on the couch from Grandpa's den and fall asleep. And when I really can't sleep I put on his sweatshirt and lay on the couch, and that usually does the trick.

3) I look for little signs all the time. And a lot of the time I get them.