Day 240-243

Life is a beautiful thing.

It is so amazing how much has changed in a year. And also what hasn't changed.

A year ago today I was in worst-case-scenario mode. I was probably up all night trying to google what I was afraid the doctors would tell me. April 2nd of last year was the day of my first MRI. The MRI that found unusual spots on my spine, which was diagnosed at syringomyelia. The word that halted life as I knew it.

For those who didn't follow my old blog you can find it here: http://lifewithsyringomyelia.blogspot.com/ or if you don't feel like reading it I can tell you that syringomyelia is a crippling spinal cord disease in which pockets of fluid in your spine expand and destroy your spinal cord.

For months I researched. I found support groups. I painted. I lived in fear. I was paralyzed by the fear of everything: lifting, running, bending, biking, massages, sneezing, the realization of never being able to be a nurse, the prospect of never having a family, a wheelchair-bound future.

Oh how much a year has made a difference. I'm so, so, so grateful that I'm not an idle patient. My neurologist didn't recommend seeing a neurosurgeon until I wanted to have kids. Thank God I didn't listen. Instead I found the best damn neurosurgeon for syringomyelia in the country. And by some miraculous feat he had an opening in July, instead of my initial October scheduling. Finding him prevented me from years of worry. Instead I was prisoner to the diagnosis for only 3 months.... thank goodness I'm free now. Dr. Iskandar saved my life and my future.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. My symptoms are still there. Just tonight both my arms went numb and tingly for an hour and a half. But at least now I know what it is. And more importantly I know that I can just go on living my life. And for the last nine months I have done just that: got married, got a job, enjoying life.

I'm not a fan of the saying "everything happens for a reason", but I am a fan using experiences to make you a better person. And I try to do that everyday.

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. ~Confucius