I don't even know where to start. Where can you start when there is no good place? On Tuesday, March 15th, I went to visit my Grandpa at the nursing home. They had just made the decision to put him on hospice care. I knew he wasn't really eating or drinking so it wouldn't be long. I stayed with him for 3.5 hours. He was miserable. He tried sleeping but every few minutes he would holler out. He was having nightmares about being in WWII. He was shouting about being shot at and trying to get help after he was shot. War is a horrible, horrible thing for someone to go through. And to have to keep reliving it... I can't even imagine. While I was there I did have the chance to tell him something I've never told him before: He is my hero. He is the greatest man I ever knew. In all the years I've wanted to tell him that I never did. I'm glad I was able to tell him now before it was too late.
I worked Wednesday and Thursday, but knew I needed to spend more time with him. I asked everyone at work if they could pick up hours for me on Friday, but no one could. I remember at nursing graduation, Dean May told us we need to take care of our "big stones" in life, so I called in sick on Friday.
Friday morning, March 18th, when I woke up I found out that Andrew had been in a car accident, so I instantly called him to see if he was okay. He told me that I better go see Grandpa today. He didn't need to say anything else. I was planning on taking my time during the day, but instead jumped in the shower and went to the nursing home. Every morning I have a battle with finding socks since I don't dare match them before I put them away. And this morning the easiest pair to find were Grandma's socks, that I had taken from her drawer when I was helping to take care of her back in June.
I got there at 1100. Grandpa was resting much more comfortably. We pulled in chairs from the dining room to accommodate everyone. The priest was coming in at noon to read Grandpa his last rites, we were just hoping he held on that long. Throughout the morning his breathing was constantly changing. Sometimes labored, other times shallow and rapid. Noon came and went and the priest was running late. Everyone was waiting for him: me, Jim, Dan, Duke, Mimi. My dad was working in Door County and was going to be coming by later.
Finally at 1220 the priest arrived. We gathered around while Grandpa received his last rites. The priest left about 1240, which is when my dad showed up. Grandpa had his kids all there, and just 15 minutes later, he passed.
I was going to meet my mom for lunch and break the news to her. I went to pick up drive-thru and the girl in the window told me to "Have a nice day." I wanted to snap at her and tell her that my grandpa just died and it was anything but a 'nice day'. That is when I realized that even though my world was crumbing, the rest of the world was still moving on.
When I got home that night I saw the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. Back in April I was visit my Grandma and Grandpa and I loved looking at Grandma's African violets. One of them stood out among the rest. It's blossoms weren't the typical bright purple, but rather purple and white. I knew Grandma was getting sick and I wanted this violet to remember her by, so she gave it to me. After I brought it home, my lack of a green thumb killed all the blossoms. For 11 months I stared at nothing but leaves in dirt. Grandma died in June and I just wish I could ask her how she kept her violets blossoming year round. I had to be doing something wrong.... In the week before Grandpa died, I noticed some buds popping up on my plant. And then on March 18th one bloomed into the most gorgeous flower. If that wasn't Grandma's way of showing how happy she was to have Grandpa back with her, then I don't know what else it could've been short of a miracle. For months I have researched and questioned how to make my flowers bloom, and all they needed was Grandma's happiness. And today, March 22nd, we laid Grandpa to rest besides Grandma, while the heaviest most gorgeous snow falls, and a second blossom is opening.
No comments:
Post a Comment